Your new hire just stormed into your office demanding a raise. Your lease is almost up and the landlord insists on renewal terms you can't possibly meet. Your best client is being audited and the IRS agent assigned to the case makes Scrooge look sweet-tempered.

Negotiating is a part of life. Even if you aren't a born negotiator, here are easy ways to improve your skills in this highly specialized art form.

BRING DOWN THE TEMPERATURE

The leap from candid debate to flaring tempers is short. The worst time to negotiate is when you're angry. When the temperature rises, "take five" to give yourself time to cool down. Or reschedule the discussion for later.

Further, responding calmly when the other party is hot under the collar can give you an important edge. By keeping your emotions in check, you telegraph a position of greater strength and confidence than your opponent.

SURVEY THE PLAYING FIELD

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, the obvious practical solutions don't work. When straightforward-sounding problems turn intractable, look for an emotional agenda lurking behind stated surface issues.

An employee's sudden demand for unnecessary new equipment could stem from job insecurity or competition with co-workers. Excessive anger may be a tell-tale sign of an underlying sense of hurt or powerlessness. Effective negotiation must address core emotional issues as well as the purely practical ones.

LISTEN TO BODY LANGUAGE

Pay attention to the other party's unspoken messages as well as their verbal ones. Maintaining eye contact is a good sign that they're engaged and listening. Arm folding or turning away may indicate resistance to your message.

Body behaviors may provide a clue to the other person's true feelings as well as how honest and forthcoming they are being in the negotiation. Consider how the other person's body language makes you feel. If you're sensing connectedness and candor, the other person probably feels it too.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

Come to the table as prepared as possible. Learn as much as you can about not only the issues under discussion, but also about the person with whom you'll be negotiating. Depending on the type of negotiation, spending a little time finding common ground may help you communicate more quickly--and perhaps reach agreement faster. Being prepared with facts and statistics (average square-footage rental rates for comparable properties for a lease negotiation, for example) can help you substantiate your position and counter objections.

TACKLE EASY ISSUES FIRST

Try to find one or two basic threshold issues on which you can quickly reach agreement. Building consensus on simpler issues helps create a sense of trust and rapport, while establishing momentum to help you move on to tackle more difficult questions.

AIM HIGH

Don't be afraid to go to bat for the deal you really want--even if it is more than you realistically expect to achieve. While it's unlikely the other side will agree to your first offer, it's usually better to start a little high to give yourself negotiating room. Come to the table with a series of fall-back positions in mind. But be sure you're also clear about your bottom line--the point at which you're willing to walk away.

MAINTAIN PERSPECTIVE

Not every deal point in a negotiation is truly a do-or-die proposition. Be prepared to let go of something to find a workable solution.

THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW

Some canny negotiators will try to steamroll you into concessions by creating a false sense of urgency. Don't let time become your enemy. Try not to get boxed in by artificial deadlines.

Has an offer been made, or a possible solution on the table? Remember to think things over carefully before agreeing. Even just a long, dramatic pause or asking "Is that the best you can do?" may prompt the other party to sweeten the deal.

TURN AN ADVERSARY INTO AN ALLY

Don't forget to shake hands with the opposition. A good, fair fight can build respect--you may be surprised where your next referral comes from.

Karen Dustman, JD, is a northern Nevada-based freelance writer and author who formerly practiced real estate and tax law in California, She can be reached at kdustman@gbis.com.

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